There is a scripture in the book of Psalms that I want to write about today.
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Psalm 27:10 NLT
There are many people who have experienced deep abandonment. Some have had parents who left them or who were never there for them. Others had parents present but their parents did them harm through abuse or neglect.
Others have been abandoned by friends. Some have been abandoned by spouses. There are some who have been abandoned by their own children. Whatever the situation, abandonment leaves not just a void but a scar due to the pain of unrealized expectations and unmet need. People who have experienced abandonment often find it hard to experience closeness because of the fear of being hurt again. Some react in just the opposite way: going overboard to be liked due to a need left behind by the abandonment of someone important in life.
In either case, a healthy emotional life has been skewed by the effects of abandonment. Walls are created which keep out intimacy dreamed of and desired. Smothering others scares the people we seek love from.
Abandonment at the deepest level leaves behind fear. Fear is the absence of love and security. The cure for relational fear is true love. The Bible puts it this way:
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us. 1 John 4:18-19
If you want to experience love again, you are going to have to allow God to get His hands on you. This is very scary to those who have been hurt because intimate contact involves risk. But, if God can touch you, He can love you. He can heal the wounded places of your soul. He can pour love into you which gives you the security to risk again and to possess love to give to others.
You can’t give away what you do not possess!
If you possess fear, fear becomes a part of your relationships. If God’s perfect love drives out your fear, you have love to give away. Look at God’s promise again:
Even if my mother and father abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.
This is the year to break free from negative experience. While you can’t change your experiences, you can be liberated from the negative effects of them. God will heal you and love you. You will approach your relationships from a position of strength rather than weakness. But, you must take the risk by allowing God to get His hands on you!
Don’t lose another year to fear. Love is on the agenda for you this year! Seize your moment and allow God to put His healing hands on you!