This is God!……………Not!


My wife and I have been so blessed to be able to be involved in so many people’s lives over the last several years. During that time, we have heard many explanations as to why people make the choices they make. One of the explanations that we often hear regarding choices people make is this: “God told me to do it!”

Often, this reason is given to us to explain why a choice is made that is directly in violation of the Bible. Most of the time, (although certainly not all the time) people use this explanation to tell us why they have chosen a relationship with someone who is unsaved.

“God told me to do it.” “God wants me to do it.” “I know this is God’s will for me.”

My response to this type of reasoning is simply this:

“The voice that is telling you to be involved in this relationship is not God.”

How can you be certain?

Well, God will not tell you to do something that is a direct contradiction of His Word. Regarding relationships, the Bible plainly tells us:

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? and what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the Living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and the shall be My people.’ Therefore ‘Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.'” 2 Corinthians 6:14-18

I once received a phone call from a man who I knew very well. He was a believer in Jesus and had a request to make of me. He asked me to pray about a relationship he was currently in – to know if it was God’s will or not. I asked him some questions about the woman – the first of which was this: is she a believer?

His answer was, “No, she is not currently a believer.” This was my answer to him, “Well, I don’t have to pray about God’s will in this situation because the Bible has already made it very clear. You are not to date her since she is not a believer.”

He got very angry at me because I wouldn’t “pray” about the possibility of this being a relationship sanctioned by God!

Emotions can imitate the Spirit and we can deceive ourselves into thinking that what we are doing is what God wants when, in reality – it is simply what we want. The Bible is what shows us what is originating from our soulish desires and what is coming from His Spirit.

“For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” Hebrews 4:12

I know…..I’ve heard the justifications:

“He/She believes in Jesus, they just don’t go to church.” “I believe I’m put in their life to lead them to Christ.”

If they don’t go to church, then they have major issues, not just with the church or with people but with God. If they don’t love God’s children – they have a problem with the Father! If you believe you are put in their life to lead them to Christ, then do it biblically! Don’t date them until they make a decision for Christ. Then and only then, do they become a candidate for a relationship.

Missionary Dating is a concept foreign to Scripture!! Repeat that slowly: Missionary dating is a concept foreign to Scripture.

In the whole expanse of what we know of as the Bible – Old Testament or New – God never sanctioned missionary dating! As a matter of fact, He condemns it in both covenants!

Your obedience in relationships is a direct reference point to the health of your relationship with God. If your relationships are unbiblical, then your relationship with God is out of order!

If you are in a relationship with another believer and are committing sexual sin in that relationship, your relationship with God is out of order!

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given us His Holy Spirit.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

Neither you nor I have a “special arrangement” with God which allows us to have an exception when it comes to obedience to His Word.

“I love you! Let’s sin together.”

Anyone who truly loves another will not knowingly lead them down a pathway of disobedience. Anyone who truly loves God will not knowingly disobey His commandments.

I want you blessed by God! I love you enough to tell you the truth. If you are in a relationship like one I’ve described above – Get it right immediately! If you ask God to forgive you and take the steps to obey Him, He will forgive you and you will not forfeit your inheritance.

It is time for us to cling to, rely upon, and trust fully in God. His Word will not return to Him void, but you must follow it. You seek God…….and allow Him to seek your mate! He always makes the right choice!

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