The Model for Marriage


I truly love my wife. Behind Jesus, she is the greatest thing that has happened to me. I take my responsibility as her husband seriously, as should every male to whom God has entrusted one of His daughters.

The Bible gives us a lot of information regarding marriage and what makes it successful. But the model relationship for a husband and wife is actually the relationship between Jesus and His Father.

“I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:3

When speaking of the relationship between husband and wife, Paul wrote this in the book of Ephesians:

He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church–for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church.” Ephesians 5:8-32

We also see that the relationship Christ has with the church is a model for the husband and wife relationship.

Men are to love their wives with Christ’s love for His people as the model. That answers many questions we have as we make decisions that will affect our marriages. More on that later–now, back to Christ and His Father–what can we learn from that relationship that we can carry over into the marriage relationship?

“The Spirit Filled Life Bible” provides the following direction:

1. Husband and wife are to share a mutual love (John 5:20; 14:31).

2. Husband and wife have different roles and accomplish different functions in the marriage (John 10:17; 14:28; 17:4).

3. Though having different roles, husband and wife are equal; they live in unity (John 10:30; 14:9, 11).

4. Husband and wife esteem one another (John 8:49, 54).

5. Husbands express love for their wives through care, shared life and ministry, and attentiveness (John 5:20, 22; 8:29; 11:42; 16:15; 17:2).

6. Wives express their love for their husbands by being one will and purpose with them; by exercising authority entrusted to them with humility and meekness, not striving or competing; in a word, by showing respect both in attitude and action (John 4:24; 5:19, 30: 8:28; 14:31; 15:10; Phil. 2:5, 6, 8; see also Gen. 3:16; 1 Tim. 2:8-15).

As I read the Scriptures and see the relationship between Jesus and His Father and Christ and His church, I know what my calling as a husband is:

To serve my wife and to lay down my life for her!

I know that God has placed me in a position of authority in my marriage but do you know what the Bible says about the nature of leadership?

“Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. NOT SO WITH YOU. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave–just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.'” Matthew 20:25-28

To fulfill your calling as an authority husbands, you must serve and give your life for others. This is God’s standard of leadership. No task is too low or off limits for a servant. This is the secret that many husbands never learn.

If your marriage is in trouble, look to the models God has given us. If you operate your life accordingly, you will see the manifestation of miracles in your relationship with your spouse!

May God bless your home and make it become a habitation for His Spirit!

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2 thoughts on “The Model for Marriage

  1. Thank you, my husband and I really argue a lot about the stupidest things and I have been really praying that God will help me change, my son also is having a hard time also, I guess because of my attitude towards my husband, it’s just that I have had to be in charge of things because I have been in survival mode instead of faith mode for so long, always trying to do what is best for my son because I am all he has or I thought that way for so long and I am always defending him anytime my husband corrects him because I feel like he is picking on him and it just seems that way. GOD HELP ME to change. It just seems like right when I start trusting my husband he always goes off the deep end. And I excuse my language am screwed once more and racked with TERROR and fear and on my own once more with a broken heart and a broken child, so I Know that God is for me and God has never let me starve but the emotional roller coaster has got to stop. I Love and appreciate you and your wife very much and I Know that God is working a miracle in my marrige. I have been asking God for the gift of faith and he IS answering my prayer.

    1. Toni,

      I am touched by your honesty. The worst thing for your son is confusion. When we are not united in the home, there is confusion. I will continue to pray for you guys as you yield to God in these matters. Be blessed!!!

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