Saw a story a couple of days ago regarding a young woman who has decided to go online and detail her college sexual experiences. As I was thinking about the ramifications of her decision, primarily for her, a great miracle was revealed to me.
We are such selfish people: it is deeply ingrained in our makeup; so deeply ingrained we often don’t recognize it when it operates. A realization came to me: Since we are so bent to selfish action and since sex is so immediate and powerful in its physical gratification, we witness an absolute miracle anytime true love is transmitted through sex.
I think of the times that I have failed to transmit real love in my relationship with my wife. When this breakdown occurs, we offer each other nothing more than a “service”; I have a need, you have the answer. I think of the difference that occurs when you have two people who are self-sufficient enough to make them attractive, but vulnerable enough to make them “hallowed”. The revealing of their needs and weaknesses are not an invitation to conquer because they truly don’t “need” us. The revelation of these weaknesses leaves us with a sense of awe. Then, if we are invited by them into that area in which they share “everything”, instead of feeling greed we feel this sense of intense humility as well as the rise of the knowledge that I have been given a great trust to be able to enter someplace so beautiful and not take from it but add to it.
My heart breaks for the young woman. Her revelations are doing nothing more than “objectifying” her; hanging out the sign for the wolves and those whose motives are not pure will categorize her as a willing and easy target.
I think of the beauty of two talented and self sufficient people who are not perfect, they love relationships but are not addicted to the “crack” of a two minute race to nowhere. They are more interested in finding hidden treasures that take a little longer to “mine” but leave you with more than a story of a weekend clash. These people are interested in visiting a beautiful garden that has an awesome aspect that was there before they appeared. They take time to observe the beauty and know that if they choose not to stay, the garden will continue on in its beauty. They realize that the power doesn’t come in being able to say, “I visited there”, but to be able to say, “I live there day by day, completely and totally humbled by the beauty of that place. I pass some of the same things each day and the wonder remains. I would NEVER want to intentionally do damage to that place. I am honored I was invited in and feel a deep sense, not of ownership but a sense of trust to preserve its beauty.”
These revelations are impossible until selfishness is put aside. Selfishness only shows me how something will help me. God, lead us to the place where true love and sex come together in that awesome and humble place we call true communion.